Farm to Fuck

By Jerrod E. Bohn

Course I
Poached Quail Egg served over Warm Greens
pulled from your wallet

Large bills only, please.

Course II
Puree of Roasted Cauliflower accompanied by Croquettes d’Privilège

Artisanal potatoes: so succulent & rich.

Course III
Local Pan-Seared Trout w/ Toasted Almonds

We own the water rights to what was your favorite fishing hole.

Course IV
Asian-Spiced Roast w/ Cilantro Chimichurri
& Broiled Asparagus (just so we haven’t appropriated this entire dish)

Course V
Rib of some little pest we killed because it was wreaking havoc at the farm, chewing up our $5 leaves of lettuce, so now here it is w/ some KC-Style BBQ sauce because we want to look like we’re in touch w/ our potential blue collar patrons

Best enjoyed w/ a 12 oz. Pabst ($7.00)

Course VI
Strawberry-Fluffed Air

Thank you for spending a week’s wages at our restaurant. Since we know you’ll leave empty, we invite you to visit our sister venture, Big Angus, an all-GMO burger and fry joint in the newly gentrified W.E.B. Dubois district.

Jerrod E. Bohn finished his MFA in poetry at Colorado State University. His work has appeared or is soon forthcoming in Phoebe, The Montreal Review, alice blue, FRiGG, Cleaver, SPECS, Word For/Word, Smoking Glue Gun, Watershed Review, and elsewhere. A full-length poetry book, Animal Histories, is forthcoming from Unsolicited Press. He currently lives in Fort Collins, where he teaches yoga and community college writing courses and enjoys cooking and getting outdoors.